Heavy eyelids

The lightening storm blinks away the darkness. I can't remember when it rained tonight, but the iron table is soaking wet. The wine drenches my tongue and I savor the outlawed flavor, reveling in my under aged rebellion. Crickets must be proud of their chorus tonight. They out sing my music. And I slip into a comfortable state of mind.

No one sees me now. I'm unreachable. Every line of communication is controllable, and I've decided to put them to sleep. They shut their eyes at the appropriate time of night. I say that time is now.

I'm left in a wonderful pool of bliss. A lovely solitude. I'm inundated in the absence of words, and conversation, and interpretation, and miscommunication. All that's left is me. And what I say is right. My thoughts are not confined to responsibility or direction. This is satisfaction, this is freedom; the ability to venture without restriction. This is me.

***

Funny how the direct and simplistic labeling of an individual can be so relieving. I'm usually the one to assume the best intentions of an individual, while contrastingly guaranteeing the dismal nature of the larger group. Basically, when dealing one on one, I an a hopeless optimist. I am willing to give multiple chances, justify another's behavior based on my own misunderstanding, attribute shortcoming to the situation instead of the individual. But there comes a point when simplicity outweighs all other explanations.

I'm beginning to "call it ass I see it." If they're an ass, then so be it. Does it matter how many childhood memories, or unfair opportunities, or personality disorders they have? No. Not in the long run. Everyone has mountains to move. Whoop de friggin do. Get over it and prove yourself.

Chelsea. Get over it and prove yourself.